Tips for artists who want to sell

I just came across this piece by John Baldessari on Pictify. Obviously, it's somewhat ironic, but it does hold some kind of truth...I've transcribed his painted version into words here:

TIPS FOR ARTISTS WHO WANT TO SELL

• Generally speaking, paintings with light colors sell more quickly than paintings with dark colors.

• Subjects that sell well: Madonna and child, landscapes, flower paintings, still lifes (free of morbid props...dead birds, etc.), nudes, marine pictures, abstracts and surrealism.

• Subject matter is important: it has been said that paintings with cows and hens in them collect dust...while the same paintings with roosters and bulls sell.
  

Of course, transcribing the above does remove the deadpan nature of the original, which is a kind of painted sign.

Off to the studio...this changes everything...